Finding a new church home is tough. Even if you leave your current church in good spirits (yes, that's possible. Not all church exits are negative), it's still difficult to find a church that is a good fit for you. It takes lots of time, patience, love, and godly discernment. It is stressful but not impossible.

We cover the issue of getting past the guilt of wanting a new church in the first post from this mini-series When you desire a new church community.

There is a lot of information to think and pray about so grab a notebook and pen and let’s dive into things to consider before, during, and after you begin searching for a new church home. Also, in our free resources tab at the top of the page is a free printable that can help you work through this process.

PREPARE FOR YOUR SEARCH

PRAY

You need to be prayerfully humble during the entire process of finding a new church. I would also suggest you add fasting to your prayers. Yes, it's that important. Seek God about which churches to attend. Ask Him to open your eyes and ears and to bless you with discernment to know if a church is a good fit for your family.

MAKE A LIST

List what is most important to you in a church. These are your non-negotiable issues.

They could be children's church, small groups, men or ladies groups, strong volunteer opportunities, children with disabilities class, praise and worship, the pastor preaching from a particular Bible version...your list will be unique because each family will have unique needs.

Don't worry that your list might be "superficial" to others. It's your list, not theirs.

For example, I do not have young children at home any longer and my grandchild is an infant so children's church and a nursery are not important to me at this point in my life. They might be high on your list but they don't even make my list. Below I provide a lot of areas to look into and questions to consider in each of those areas. Write down (or put it in your phone) what areas are important to you and the questions you need to think about in each of those areas.

Be sure to take your list with you to each church you visit. Why make a written list you can take with you? If you write down your observations, you can freely participate, listen to the teaching, and hopefully fellowship without trying to remember everything.

MAKE ANOTHER LIST

Pick 3-4 churches to start with. I would suggest visiting each church for a set period of time and not bouncing around. Pick church A that you feel most led to and set your mind to visit it every week for 6 weeks (pick a timeframe that you are comfortable with). Keep track of your observations.

Then visit church B for the same period of time and work your way down your list until you find the church God has for you. As you reach the end of your list, if you have not found a church your spirit feels peace with, keep seeking. Don't rush the process. Do homework on each church before visiting.

GATHER INFORMATION

Do a bit of homework about each church. Head for the internet to see if your potential church has a website or media presence (YouTube, Facebook, etc). What information is listed? You might find their statement of faith as well as all sorts of additional information on ministries, groups, etc. The churches are revealing exactly what they want you to know about them so look deeper than skimming for basic information.

Watch and listen closely to their videos if available. Not only might you hear their preaching style and message, but you might also see the size of their congregation (a big issue for many) or hear their praise and worship.

Subscribe to their newsletter if they have one. Check it out just as you did their media presence. You can always cancel the subscription later if you decide they are not the church for you.

You might find that the information on the internet and in their newsletter to be so sparse that you still don't understand what they believe and offer. Don't automatically rule them out. Maybe they have been praying God would send someone to them with a heart to help the church in this area. Make note of their lack of media presence and unless you found something you could not agree with, continue your plan to visit them in person.

Any of these initial investigative steps may reveal a church that you will not be comfortable in or that your spirit is telling you to stay away from. It might be just the opposite and you feel led to visit that church in person. Be open to God's leading. Typically He blesses us in ways we are not expecting.

WHILE VISITING A CHURCH

Don't get caught up in your own head when you visit. I tend to do this. Until I know the other person I can be a bit shy and get so caught up in my thoughts it doesn't cross my mind to stop and speak to someone. The other person might be caught up in their own thoughts too. Don't hold against them what you don't want them to hold against you.

Be kind and friendly but not pushy. Ask questions to learn, not to find fault.

WHAT INFORMATION SHOULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR?

WHAT DO THEY BELIEVE?

What do they believe about God? Do they believe He is the one true God, three in one? Do they believe the Holy Spirit is with believers? What do they believe about Jesus?
Do they put other people (and books) ahead of or equal to the Bible? A big clue would be if they quote them just as much as the Bible. Do they use other teachers (alive or dead) to explain God’s Holy Word or do they use God's Word to explain God's Word?
Are their church traditions held higher than what the Bible says? "Because we've always done it that way" is not a good reason. For example, we were in a church that encouraged comments and questions after the teaching. That was not a typical practice for most churches but everyone learned so much as the teaching was clarified, debates were heard, questions were answered. It took the teaching deeper but would be frowned upon in most churches.
Do they believe in a real heaven and a real hell? Don't scoff. Some Christian churches teach that God loves everyone and would never allow anyone to go to hell.
What do they believe about works versus faith and salvation? They might say one thing but expect something different from their congregation so you have to watch this one closely. This could include getting publicly baptized (or you're not really saved) or serving in the church in some capacity (or your not a true church member and obviously lack faith).
You might find some of these answers in their statement of faith. Do you share their beliefs?

HOW IS THEIR TEACHING/PREACHING?

Do they use scripture? Sadly, not every church does. Take notes of the teaching to look things up later. You must test what you hear to make sure it lines up with God's Word.
Do they teach from both the New and Old Testaments? Some churches believe the Old Testament no longer applies to our lives. Is that kind of a church okay with you?
Can you understand the Bible version that is being taught out of? You can't learn and grow if you can't understand what is going on.
Do they explain scripture in such a way that you can understand the Bible better when you leave than when you got there? If you are more confused, make note of what you are confused about and be ready to ask about it. Are you allowed to ask about it or are you brushed off or ignored?
Does the teaching help you to understand how to apply what you learned to your everyday life? You need to be able to relate to what you are being taught.
Does the pastor shy away from controversial issues and side with the world so as not to offend? I'm not talking politics, I'm talking controversial Biblical principles. The Bible is to be used to teach, rebuke, correct, and train.
Are they focused on one sin over another like infidelity versus backbiting? All sin is the same to God. Keep in mind the teacher could be in the middle of a series so use wisdom here.

HOW ABOUT THE PRAISE AND WORSHIP?

Traditional hymns or contemporary? Loud or quiet? Some believe musical instruments are unbiblical, some feel the more equipment the better.
Do you like the style of music? Music is bigger to some than others but you need to feel comfortable enough to get out of your own head to worship your Savior.
Is there a spirit of worship present or does it feel dead as if only going through the motions?

IS CHURCH LEADERSHIP APPROACHABLE?

Are they teachings pop-psychology and worldly advice wrapped in biblical coverings?
Is it clear who the leadership is? We were part of a leadership team once where even we didn't know who the other leaders were. Meetings were individual if at all and we realized if we were a part of it and didn't know, how would the other members of the congregation know who to approach with questions or concerns?
Are you able to approach leadership with questions or concerns? Some churches do not allow this while others welcome time to answer your questions.
Can you receive from this teacher? Their style, their speaking ability, their enthusiasm (or lack of it)...this is simply a matter of preference. They just might not be your cup of tea and that's okay. I love to laugh and I firmly believe God does too. But if the pastor jokes about someone mean-spirited, I have trouble with that. A loud pastor that screams is another negative for me. I get so focused on watching the veins bulge and spit fly that I don't hear what is being said. I tune out and might as well not be there. That doesn't mean they aren't biblical with great messages and appeal to someone else.
Does the Pastor and leadership attempt to control the lives of the congregation? Dictating what you do with your gifts, your time, your finances, your children, your job, where you live, etc? That is not their job.

HOW IS CHILDREN’S MINISTRY?

Are the kids separated from the parents or can they stay in the service with their parents? In some churches, this is not allowed. In others, it is welcomed.
Are the parents encouraged to help out? Is it a requirement? Can you meet this requirement?
How do you know that what the kids are being taught is biblical? Are they simply babysitting or are they trying to teach the kids about Jesus and how to apply what they learn to their little lives? Ask questions to find out.

WHAT ABOUT THE CONGREGATION?

What are the people like? We all want a church where we feel we fit in and can find friends to walk with us along the way. Can this church provide that? Is it mostly an older, reserved crowd and you are not? Is it a church full of young families with children and it makes you uncomfortable to be around them? (Don’t judge. If you are reading this and think something so silly is just ridiculous, keep in mind that someone who is dealing with infertility, illness, or the death of a child might need extra time to feel comfortable around other children. If this is you, God can help you deal with it. But in the meantime, this particular church might not be a good fit for you at this time.)
Are the service times when you can attend? Is the church too far away from your home? Do the other believers live close enough for you to fellowship with or is the distance too prohibitive? Some churches don't encourage the congregation to get together, some highly encourage it. But it doesn’t matter if the church is so far away any interaction is more a problem than a blessing.
What is the church like? All churches have a unique feel and rhythm. Do you feel a wall of unwelcome or sincere acceptance? The Holy Spirit will tell you what spirit is dominant if you will listen.
Some churches don’t necessarily encourage the use of paper Bibles but encourage electronic versions and the Scripture verses on a large screen. As such, they might close all the doors and curtains and leave the lights off to see the screens better. This makes some feel claustrophobic. Is this an issue for you?

ARE THERE MINISTRY OPPORTUNITIES?

Many of us want to do more than show up on Sundays and leave immediately afterward. The Holy Spirit has blessed each of us with gifts to use to bless the body. Can you use those gifts to bless at this church?
Do they have whatever ministry your gifts align with? If not, can you start one there? What is required? Some churches will not allow anyone but certain individuals to start or lead ministries. Their material might show you the answer here. Look at their newsletter and website to see who leads which ministries.
What do you have to do to be allowed to lead a group or ministry in this church? In some churches, only those who go to that church's Bible College are allowed in positions of leadership. Other churches will take anyone who volunteers.

AFTER VISITING EACH CHURCH

If you have questions, call the church and ask; how they respond will tell you a lot. Do they smooze over the answer like a used car salesman or do they listen and try to help?
Don't commit until you have tried the church for a period of time. This gives you time to see the church when they aren't trying to impress you anymore.
Pull your list out, pray over it, compare and possibly eliminate churches based on the information you gathered and what you are hearing from God.

IF IT’S NOT FOR YOU

If someone you know is going through this process, try to be supportive. Keep in mind it is not easy. Don't assume you know why they desire to seek a new church. They may not be comfortable talking about the real reasons they are looking for a new church home. Don't try to manipulate them into staying at your current church with you. Cut them a bit of slack and pray for them instead.

For Additional Reading: Praying powerful prayers

FINAL THOUGHTS

No church is perfect. Every good church has imperfect people and every bad church has imperfect people. We don't want to be judgy or critical as we move forward in our search. Remaining vigilant in the Word with prayer will do far more to aid our search because Satan is sneaky and bold. He uses the church and Christians just as he uses everything else to kill, steal, and destroy God's children.

Regardless of what you are looking for in a church, keep your focus; a Bible-believing and a Bible-teaching church that gives God the glory is our goal. I pray you will allow God to lead and that you will find what you need!

YOUR TURN

Have you survived a church search? What did you decide were the most important criteria for you/your family? Comment below and share the tips that saved your sanity!

ADDITIONAL CHRISTIAN STEWARDSHIP POSTS TO FILL YOUR CUP

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